The Mason Family Circus

BubblesAfter two spectacular weeks at the beach, we came home last night, relaxed, went to bed, and woke up this morning blissfully unaware of what the morning would bring. Lucky me was going to get the morning "off" because my husband is visiting and was going to take the kids to have breakfast at the ILs.

At least, that was what was supposed to happen. I was getting the kids dressed and ready to go when I went downstairs to the family room (where our 3 hamster cages are kept) looking for my daughter's shoes. I suspected they would be beside (and hopefully not in) the cages.
Unfortunately, the shoes were not beside (or in) the cages and, for that matter, neither were the hamsters. After spinning around to pin both children in my sights, I made the assessment that the only visible hamster present was "Bubbles" (the remaining baby hamster from our recent hamster stash). Bubbles was in the tender loving care of the kids, but the other two "grown-up" hamsters, Sugar and Rose, were nowhere to be seen.

The conversation went a little something like this:

ME: WHAT!?! WHERE ARE THE HAMSTERS?
SON: Um, I don't know.
DAUGHTER: Me either.
ME: DID YOU TAKE THEM OUT OF THEIR CAGES?SON: Um, yeah. Sugar wanted to play in the fire truck.ME: And, where is Sugar playing now?SON: I don't know.ME: And Rose?SON: Well, she wanted to drive Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.ME: Where was the last place you saw Sugar?
SON: He was driving the fire truck.
ME: What about Rose?SON: In my room. I think.
A that was the beginning of the Great Hamster Chase. We spent about 30 minutes looking for the little critters cuties, but to no avail. When it was clear that we were getting nowhere fast, my husband made the brilliant suggestion that he take the kids out and I can sit in each room with the power-off and listen for them. And there went my morning "off".
The kids were piled in to the car and I was left lurking around each room of the house looking for hamsters. The good news is Sugar was found mysteriously on top of the train table. The bad news is Rose is still MIA.

I am so glad I chose tonight to start family dinners back at the kitchen table. I've missed the time with my kids. Just getting to enjoy their company and hear all the cool things they have to say.

On a related note, I got to use a garbage disposal for the first time in more than 3 years.

Honestly, even though I know I haven't updated my blog in FOREVER,  I really can't believe it hasn't been longer. It has been so long, in fact, that my browser doesn't even autofill my blog when I start to type it out which makes me think I should really just rename the darn thing.

I'm starting to go through a "it's just too difficult to type phase" and a few times recently it's really irked me. Like the name "Lloyd", for example. Why, why, why, does it have to have 2 Ls? Then, that awkward "yd" construction at the end. I would be more tolerant of it if it was just spelled phonetically...Loyud. Loyud.....much better.

Which brings me to the very important, never to be ignored, parenting tip of the day: So, when naming your child spend a little extra time emphasizing phonetics and a little less time being fancy. Please. I beg of you, remember the type-factor.

Anyway, on to the update. Since we last met, life has exploded (or maybe vomited is more like it) all over the neighborhood. Right after the Wiggles...I mean, Barenaked Ladies concert, I was riding high. So what if my rented walls were crumbling asbestos dust and lead paint all over my pretty bamboo display and so what if my rented 80-year old garage door collapsed on my head or the 20 koi in my fish pond up and died in a dramatic, yet stinky, display one night. I was willing to suck it up. Never planning to move again. And, then...

Apparently I lost my mind, again, and decided to buy my animal-crazed kids (who are allergic to cats and dogs) an easy to care for pet. Hamsters. Two kids, of course, means two hamsters. And, like the sensible pet buyer, I made sure that I had two boy hamsters. (Looking back now, I think I should have just sprung for a box of animal crackers. Or two.)

Then, 3 short blissful weeks later, I am disturbed from my Facebook reverie by incessant squeaking. I ignored it for as long as I could, but finally decided that I was going to "put an end to all that racket". Upon peering in the cage, I see three pink fingers wiggling around in the cage. Once I double checked that I didn't lose a finger or three, I realized that they were, in fact, baby hamsters. What!?!?!

Today, 4 weeks later, I have finally got a final count on the actual number of hamsters we have bred. Nine! Nine little pooping, peeing, squeaking, fluffy little bundles of joy running around a cage made for one.

But back to the house...

After realizing that the house I was living in was about to collapse and that the homeowners were not interested in anything but the money they were getting for rent, I sort of, kind of entertained the idea of moving. Twenty-four hours later, I have a contract on a house. Huh?!?!? Damn hamsters.

Then, I thought, well, this would be a good time to the year long purge of my belongings. This bright idea ended up with me giving away-among other things-all of my books, winter clothes (all of them!), and winter bedding. As it is so hot right now, I can't imagine ever needing those things again. I'm now hoping for a long, hot winter.

After an elaborate moving plan, that involved hiring some teenagers, a friend who is a human dynamo, 2 trucks, and lots of plastic storage bins in a three-phase moving process, I was able to move everything to the new house with as little packing material as possible. Phases one and two was up to me (and my team of well-qualified 14 and 15-year olds...including the former governor of Virginia's lovely daughter) and phase three was up to the military.

It was going so well that I thought I might completely skip the phase of moving where I break out in to hives. Turns out, I only need to see a professional mover and smell just a whiff of a single moving box and it triggers the most horrendous allergic/stress response. Thank God I keep an excellent supply of Benedryl on hand for just about every occasion.

So we moved. Again. Two kids, 11 hamsters, myself, a case of Benedryl, and 10,000 lbs of my most important things. Damn hamsters.

Last night I went to see the Barenaked Ladies in REAL LIFE!!! I love BNL and have been waiting to see them for years since the last two attempts I made to see them flamed out in the execution phase.

It was a great show despite the 90+ degrees it was, but about halfway through the show I was distracted by a thought for about 10 minutes. The thought? Probably a question that many people as themselves when they see a concert..."What was the last concert I saw?"

I sat there racking my brain for the answer when it suddenly came in to focus. The last concert I saw was...The Wiggles when I was pregnant with Emma.

I was shocked (and slightly embarrassed)! The Wiggles? Really. Oh, how far I have fallen. The fact that I even list the Wiggles as a concert on my lengthy list of concert experiences seems a bit sad. That I enjoyed them, a bit pathetic. Even more sadly, I've seen them twice. (An honor shared only by George Thorogood, the Temptations, and Billy Joel.)

And when I realized that it really was The Wiggles, I found myself looking around to see if anyone could tell what I was thinking. Checked to make sure I was dancing and going-on as a grown adult at a concert. How could I ever be the same? Thank God, I apparently made a good real concert-poser and disguised my sordid past well.

I actually went through a mental "compare and contrast" process between BNL and the Wiggles. Turns out, in essence, the two weren't all that dissimilar. Both concerts were lively performances by skilled musicians who possess a level of musical intelligence of which I have only dreamed. The main difference was that the Wiggles started at 3 pm.

I wonder if they would ever consider doing a show together. BNL does have a really excellent children's album.

Depressing, but true. Turns out I was WAY off on the sock poll. Substantially more participants surveyed (a shocking 83%)  thought that it was more important for socks to be clean on the outside than on the inside.

Since I was the only person who voted for "clean on the inside", it appears I'm in the need of a major paradigm shift in my "beauty's only skin deep" philosophy. Crap...I guess it's time to start showering at the beginning of the day. (Or just make a bunch of new friends...that might be easier, actually.)

Depressing, but true. Turns out I was WAY off on the sock poll. Substantially more participants surveyed (a shocking 83%)  thought that it was more important for socks to be clean on the outside than on the inside.

Since I was the only person who voted for "clean on the inside", it appears I'm in the need of a major paradigm shift in my "beauty's only skin deep" philosophy. Crap...I guess it's time to start showering at the beginning of the day. (Or just make a bunch of new friends...that might be easier, actually.)

Forget WD40. Here are some ways to use your favorite cooking spray for more than cooking. I prefer PAM original flavor because the smell of the olive oil one is too strong.

• To remove rust
• To get gum out of hair
• To untangle knots in hair
• To lubricate stuck parts on disused tools, such as wrenches
• To treat the hinge on a squeaky door
• To remove wax (crayon) from smooth surfaces
• To unstick items stuck in locks (both keys and food products, such as gum)
• To soften extremely dry patches of skin or to prevent chapping
• To remove stickers from windows
• To remove Bandaids from skin

Let me know if you know any other off-label uses.

As I was cruising the isles at Target the other day, I stumbled upon this little pearl of brilliance...

Small enough to pop in the diaper bag or glove box. Convenient enough for the stressed-out parents' quick fix...wine boxes. The only thing it doesn't come with is a straw! (Don't worry, I already e-mailed Target about that oversight. I think it will be fixed on the next production run.)

The other thing I don't understand was that I couldn't find it in the baby products isle.

Interesting question though, do you think the wine is packaged by Juicy Juice? Bet that was an interesting meeting to go to.